Addicted to Unavailable Love?
Do you find yourself attracting unavailable people? And I don't mean they just don't have time for you. Do you find yourself constantly being attracted to people who are in relationships? Long-distance? Don't share the same attraction towards you?
This, my babe, is called unavailable love.
This most likely came from some kind of childhood trauma (trauma doesn't have to be as traumatic as it sounds either.) If you grew up having one or more parents or someone you viewed as a parent's love not present, you're going to find yourself chasing unavailable love until you recognize that pain and heal it.
This parent figure could have been entirely or partially absent, mentally absent, emotionally absent, etc. I did a full chart reading for someone who chased unavailable love because their father was a police officer.
Even though she had a great relationship on the surface level, emotionally, he was absent because he learned over time to survive his career, he had to learn how to hide his emotions.
Unfortunately, this spilled over to the household and some of the things he may have witnessed caused him to shut down. He never failed to tell his child that he loved them, but when it came to being close and loving during their childhood, he couldn't provide that. So this person constantly found themselves ending up with some kind of unavailable person.
"Our ego is our inner child."
When we don't heal our inner child, they come out in subtle ways, such as relationships. That person's inner child was used to being okay with unavailable love and learned over time it is what they deserve.
So to feel safe in love, they search for people who remind them of their parents or parent figure (they are our true first love, after all). So for anyone who grew up around the unavailability of love, does this one way or another. This is because we allow our ego to choose that for us.
However, if you notice, sometimes our ego can get us into stagnant situations because it's our inner child trying to function in the adult world. What they may have learned may not be healthy for adult us to do any more such as accept unavailable love.
So if you resonate with this,
understand that love is always available to you, which is why it's essential to stop seeking validation from anyone but yourself.
Love yourself so damn hard to heal any past trauma so you can have the love you deserve.
Moving forward, love your inner child, be the protector and nurturing parent figure you wish you had (even if they were an excellent parent, this still happens)
When you feel your ego coming out to keep you safe, tell it, "It's okay, love, adult me got this now. No need to be afraid. We'll be okay." You see, you're never alone, and you're always loved.
Don't accept anything less than what you deserve. I don't care what kind of pain you have been through or how you feel about yourself. You're worthy. You're lovable. You're valuable, and I am rooting for you.
You're worthy. You're lovable. You're valuable, and I am rooting for you.